Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
