Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
