She said her name was "party"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
