Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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