god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
