how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
