Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
