Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
