I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I deserve this hangover.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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