Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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