I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
