How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize