On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize