I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
