Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
