is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
