hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
