I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
