i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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