Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
