I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
