So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
