oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
