I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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