I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
