Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
