I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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