sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
