Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
