Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
