I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im holly from the hills drunk
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
