he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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