i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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