listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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