If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
