my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
