your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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