I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
