Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
