Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
