you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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