I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
