:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
