Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
soo... how was my night?
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