I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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