so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize