I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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