Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
