the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
love makes seman taste better
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
