woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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