Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
