did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
