he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
