I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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