I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
