Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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